Real Family Fight Stories

Mistrust Of Brother Leads To Conflict

Dear Les and Barry,
I came across your website as I was struggling with the fact that my sisters do not want to give my brother a key to my parent’s home.  Mom died in July and Dad is in the VA nursing home. My parents owned a home for 49 years and it would have been paid for except my brother took out a second mortgage on the home years ago. He still owes on that mortgage. He is also a lawyer and the appointed executor of the estate. There are 7 of us, ( 21 grandchildren), but only four living in the city where my parents resided. I am out of town but during Mom’s illness drove there every month and stayed a week to 10 days just to help out and relieve all of the in town siblings (4 of them).

The trouble is my siblings do not trust my brother – the lawyer and executor – there is a huge conflict of interest because he has taken a loan off the estate. Mom and Dad never discussed much with us. They did a simple will dividing everything 7 ways – that’s it.

Now it is time to consider selling the house, which is full of stuff and a lot of junk, and I know it is going to be one big family feud. Either it will be handled with a big elephant in the room and passive communication or it will be an aggressive and angry exchange and there goes the nice cushy family feelings.

As an out of towner who does not need my parent’s money or things, my interest is in us staying together; in having a place to visit for Christmas where we are all honestly loving and communicating. I want the family album to stay intact and I see one big mess or a mess of ulcers. If you think your book would be helpful, I would buy it.

Thank you for listening.