I just happened to click onto the Rogers program and see part of your show on family fights. How interesting. I am going to order your book. I want my two sons treated fairly.
We have a little story. My mother was widowed about 15 years ago (from her second husband) who had invested well. Little did we know until after his estate was settled that she had burnt all the paperwork they held in their safe which was mortgages for home owner’s including my sisters. God only knows why. She has since lived in an apt. looking after her own money until about 1 year ago when she became ill with lung disease. Mom was starting to complain she had no money. I had previously been suspicious of mother’s money disappearing out of the account and asked for records from the bank. I noticed when any GICs became due she wanted the cash put in her account and when I asked her where the money went she would lie. It was going to my sister’s sons. I contacted my nephew and told him we tracked checks going into his accounts and they were to repay her as she is short of money. I called mom’s family lawyer who in confidence said she should be a millionaire with all the mortgages they held and was blown away when I told him she had burnt them. He said he knew they kept the paperwork in the safe and what money is left get it away from the vultures (my sister and her family).
I was mom’s Power of Attorney and before I had time to do anything (re. the money I found out my sister got mom to sign and add her to power of attorney). My sister who never liked to work, suggested we put all mom’s money into her bank account, so if she had to go into a nursing home, the government would subsidize. I point blank said NO. That’s when I got a little suspicious of what she was up to.
We were called up one day and told they were taking her up to live with them (a five hour drive one way for me to see her). When we arrived at the apt. all contents had been moved by her two sons. My sister took it upon herself to divide out the contents of the apt. to her family. Leaving no keepsakes for myself.
P.S. Just last week we got a call from the sister-in-law saying she hoped the money would hold out. I guess you can guess what my comment was……………….
I blame myself for not intervening sooner, but was trying to avoid a fight and be mister nice guy. Live and learn. I have learned since, that on a power of attorney it should read – make decisions TOGETHER, NOT EITHER OR, that way none of this would happen. Just a little tip for others.