We have had some unfairness in our family, but have taken a “Maude” attitude (“God will get you for that [Walter] “) and we left the selfish executrix to her $$$$$$$$$.
My father, to whom my grandfather was going to change as executor, wanted to take all my grandfather’s coin collection, put it in a cloth sack and then have the grandchildren pick out one coin each until they were all gone. As it was my selfish aunt hoarded everything and wouldn’t let anyone into the house.
In my parents’ will the basic tenet was “share and share alike” and anything you gifted your parents with you got back eventually. We picked the books and the records we wanted and chose various items and then liquidated the rest at a garage sale. We both bought a gorgeous large microwave that was state-of-the-art at the time and my dad left one behind as well. My sis and I had a ball surreptitiously giving a cousin this great micro-wave as well as a few other bigger ticket items we could have sold at the garage sale. As my sis said, “we wouldn’t get rich on the money from them.” We had more fun giving away things we didn’t need two of than we would have had counting the money from selling them. We both come from a lower-middle-class background.
I thank you for reminding me I must state how I want items handled. For the most part though I was thinking: Have each child of mine (there are 5) throw 2 dice 3 times and the person with the highest total on down goes 1st, 2nd, etc. to pick what items they want and after all is done they can swap 1 for 1 or 2 for 1 depending on the deals they strike. Does that sound fair?
Take care, God bless you on your mission to keep or restore peace to families. You are to be highly commended for your efforts. Most sincerely.