Real Family Fight Stories

A Re-married Father With Alzheimer’s

My mother passed away in 1995. There was a considerable sized estate from my mother, left to her by her parents and aunt. She left everything to my father. She was very open about the fact if she died first, that he was to promise to be sure that his second wife did not get everything (e.g. money, jewelry, Doulton figurines, etc.) and that we three children would be left the estate. Two years later, my father remarried a widowed friend of theirs. There was a prenuptial agreement at the time of the marriage, whereby each of their estates would be left to their children from their first marriage. About two years ago, he let it slip that he had changed his will and left everything to the new wife, for “tax purposes”. He also has a large estate, mostly in retirement savings. He is very secretive about financial matters. We wouldn’t have even known we were disinherited except he said something by accident and we figured it out. To make a long story short, he says that the new wife has promised to give us the money “when she doesn’t need it any more!” and that we are not to worry because she will only spend a little of it. My brother and I have seen a lawyer, but he said it is totally at his discretion to dispose of his estate, as our mother gave him everything outright, even though the intention was for us to inherit. Also, my father is 77 years old and we suspect he is developing Alzheimer’s. Anyway, we have not spoken to or seen him since. It is a very sad situation and my brother, sister and I are making sure our estates are set up more equitably.

DB